Out with the old
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Out with the old A throw-away New Year Resolution By Alison van Diggelen What better way to start the New Year than writing a list of resolutions as long as your arm and methodically working through them? Excellent in theory, but if you’re anything like me, by mid-February they’ve gone the way of the tinsel and Christmas lights. But I still cling to the tradition of making resolutions; it allows me and the family to dream a little. It keeps us occupied and hopeful through the bleakest month, when all the festivities have morphed into mere memories, smudged photos and bulging tummies. One of the things top of my list is a clear out. Thanks to my hoarding instinct and that of my kids, every square foot of our house is precious and used to its optimum capacity (read: we have piles of books, toys, clutter etc. piled up to the ceiling in some rooms). This makes it hard for an obsessive squirreler like me to find room for my treasures, whether they are artwork by the kids, old Economist magazines or my growing pile of “must read” books. A short vacation to the sunshine this Christmas provided sufficient incentive for change. One of the best parts of vacations, I always think, is the chance to shirk all the paraphernalia of modern living and travel with one bag of belongings, well make that as many bags as we can carry or wheel. It’s great to leave behind the humming computer with its ever beckoning emails, the busy telephone, the kitchen sink and especially the vacuum cleaner! My husband groans that I’m incapable of traveling light, but even with a bulging bag or two, it still feels like I’m floating. I discovered a profound satisfaction in hanging my vacation clothes in an empty guest house closet and seeing them free, unfettered, with room between each to breathe. It symbolizes the beauty of holidays, of space to change. It made me ask, why can’t it be like this at home? Life is suddenly simple: no schedules to follow, no beeping alarms in the morning, no curfew for the kids in the evening. You don’t have to shunt them around to school, art class or swim practice, and juggle your work deadlines. There is time to wallow in just listening to one another, without the need to hurry, to harry, to nag and cajole. My husband threatened to bring his laptop until the very last moment. Then, in a crazed moment of pre-vacation euphoria, he relinquished it, and I looked forward to some complete relaxation, while he merrily entertained the kids on the beach. But he did bring his other techy gizmo, a PDA/ GPS, (just in case we get lost darling!). On vacation, we all moved down the proverbial gear or three (afternoon naps became a marvelous treat), and felt very far away from the over-hectic valley and our over stuffed house. The kids made fast friends with some fellow young travelers; my husband and I enjoyed the company of an Antarctica explorer and his wife, a far traveled publisher. Being out of Silicon Valley let us see things more clearly; helped us clean out our heads and our lives. On New Year’s Eve, everyone at the guest house was invited to write down lists of the things we want rid of in our lives. One by one, we tossed them on a large bonfire. Be gone anger, stress and strife; family feuds, bullies and sickness! My son wrote: “bad teachers” and everyone cheered. Then we wrote lists of the good things in our lives, our dreams and resolutions; and tossed them into the sea. The wisdom says that they will return to us, as the sea returns everything…eventually. Yet, I sometimes find myself wondering, how long we must wait…? Homecoming on January 2 made me look at our accumulations with new eyes. My first target was the bathroom cabinets. They were full of ancient skin treatments for hydration, exfoliation, and beautification. Did I really need to keep twenty year-old lipsticks of flaming fuchsia and sparkling wild berry eye shadows from my city slicker days in London? And what about the multitude of miniature bathroom bottles accumulated like sacred relics from my hubby’s business trips around the world? It all had to go. My next target is the closets. That resolution will keep me busy for days. Look out, Sacred Heart Community Center and Career Closet, here I come! Yet before I wade chest-deep into my old life, and get embroiled in to-do lists, kids’ activities, the unpaid bills and approaching deadlines, I savor this sense of calm. It probably won’t last beyond the weekend, but for now I’m grateful. This new tradition of writing down our regrets and our dreams; and sealing them in fire and water is a keeper. It’s one resolution I know I can maintain. The kids will make sure of that! Wishing you and yours a Happy New Year. Let’s hope it’s a joyful and uncluttered one. About the author: Alison van Diggelen is editor of siliconmom.com. For several years, she wrote columns for the San Jose Mercury News, and Silicon Valley Biz Ink. She now writes profiles of the great and good in Silicon Valley. © siliconmom
