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Moms DO Dance!

Moms DO Dance! By Alison R.G. van Diggelen I simply couldn’t help myself…the music fired me; the beat started me up…prompting me, urging me to be a bad girl. I had lost all my control. I did something that would get me in trouble, which would shame my husband, and astound my kids…. Yes: I ACTUALLY STOOD UP AND DANCED AT A ROCK CONCERT! And let me tell you: it felt great. I was wildly alive…It was just Mick Jagger and me dancing, …I closed my eyes and moved to the rhythm. Then suddenly, my sixty seconds of rapture were over. Someone had to curtail my unsavory behavior. This alert citizen walloped me on the shoulder and screamed, “Sit down will ya! You’re spoiling it for everyone else! I didn’t pay $100 to have to peer round you!” I was all for ignoring her, but my husband, who had stood up to jiggle in solidarity, gave me a resigned look. He slowly sat down, tugging at my arm. “Please sit down,” he mouthed. Just like the exuberant Kindergartner, Junie B. Jones in my kids’ favorite chapter book, I plunked down and did a huffy breath. But as I sat there fuming, I pondered the question, if you do a really loud huffy breath at a rock concert while the band are blasting out, “I Can’t Get No (mm mm mmmm) Sat-is-fac-ti-on,” and no one hears you, does it even count? Has anyone a clue just how outraged you are? Point is, there aught to be an area set aside for boring old farts that won’t get off their bottoms even if the Beatles became reincarnated in front of them, or U2 played “Elevation”. Then crazy, adrenalin fired people like me could dance with impunity without upsetting anyone [You elevate my soul…I’ve lost all my control…the goal is EL-E-VA-TION!- U2]. Why don’t I just buy floor seating? Believe me, I tried, but buying tickets online (which for big names is often your only option) gives you only the best seats available…and those primo tickets get snapped up in a micro-second. *** Memo to Ticketmaster CEO In the interests of world peace and harmony at rock concerts, please introduce a new option when ordering tickets online. Try this: Click here [icon of Jagger’s big tongue] if you are a real rock fan OR click here [comfy barco lounger] if you are an armchair, boring old fart who spectates not participates. AND Click on the number between one and ten showing the probability that you just might want to get up and dance, where one is “not unless someone forced me at gunpoint” and ten is “you betta believe it, sista’! Clear the floor!” Note to CFO: There are many frustrated dancers out there who might even pay extra for the liberty of dancing nowhere near the “sit down” crowd. Potential increased revenue source. Ka-ching! Many thanks, League of Freedom to Dance at Rock Concerts (Rock on, man!) *** But are the BOF’s just really old? Is it merely an issue of age or is it attitude? Listen, if a 60 year old Englishman can prance around on stage like a teenager with ADD for about four hours straight, the least we can do is join him. Let’s face it, our derrieres have probably spent the previous eight hours glued to a seat at work, they would probably relish the opportunity of a little wiggle and fresh air! If you want to watch a rock concert from the comfort of a chair, why don’t you just stay home, kick back on your overstuffed lounger and watch the DVD of the last tour? Then you won’t have to wait in Mississippi River long lines for the restroom, breathe sweet smelling smoke; OR meet people like me. And you’ll even avoid the insane traffic gridlock in the parking lot en route home. Which brings me to: what’s with those folks who leave concerts about an hour early? As they race for the highway, wifey turns to hubby, “Oh ‘hon, you’ve done it again, we missed the traffic.” Meanwhile they’ve also missed three incredible encores. I bet those very same guys would never ever stand up at a rock concert. Oh please, don’t start me up, again! Alison van Diggelen is founder and editor of siliconmom.com. She is a columnist for San Jose Mercury News and Silicon Valley Biz Ink. Contact: siliconmom@earthlink.net © siliconmom

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