siliconmom.com

home

Are we theeeere yet?

Are we there yet? By Alison RG van Diggelen, “To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive.” Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish novelist, 1881 Vacation is here, and that means relaxing days on the beach, exploring new places, visiting family and friends. And if you’re anything like my family, hours and hours of torture in the car, just getting there. I bet you can hardly wait for that particular summer delight either. Stevenson obviously didn’t have kids when he wrote the profound wisdom, about traveling hopefully. When traveling with the children, I say better to just get there as fast as heavenly possible. In our family, the journey is rarely something to be relished. My kids are about as active as two puppies in a farmyard, and the idea of being restrained in one spot for longer than ten minutes is simply not their idea of fun. At a parenting class I attended many moons ago, a mother asked about tips for planning a two-week driving holiday on the East Coast with her newborn. Gasps of alarm came from the audience, as though she’d just announced a trip to the moon with her baby. But really, she may as well have. The idea of fourteen days on the road with a small kid is my idea of misplaced ambition, bordering on insanity. Incredibly, the “expert” swallowed her amazement at the mother’s plans and did provide some useful tips, like planning the bulk of the driving while baby would normally be napping or sleeping. But the best idea of all was: think again! Although I don’t know anyone who has taken their under fives on even a week-long road trip and survived to tell the tale, there are times when some driving is required just to get somewhere. Perhaps I simply haven’t brought my kids up to appreciate the wonders of the American Freeway system, but there is definitely a loud aversion to freeway driving in our family. My kids have already made the connection between freeway driving and long journeys. “We don’t want to go on the freeway,” they complain as I take the on ramp to Highway 85, “can’t we go the back way?” Thinking it is automatically more fun and will get us there faster. In fact, my kids are so averse to going anywhere by car, we often get five are we there yet?’s on the ten minute journey to the local library. The ancient parenting wisdom goes that you should keep little fingers occupied and little mouths busy. That means preparation can go a long way to save your family’s sanity in the car. Books on tape, coloring books, action toys, games, and lots of munches make sense. But there comes a time on a five-hour trip when “things” get old. Then you must move to Plan B: distraction tactics: making games of I spy, count the number of red cars, blue cars, pink and white polka dot cars. A friend recommended the make up story line game “Happily/Unhappily” which my kids love. And of course there are sing-a-long songs that go on forever. In fact my son has a three-prong song that always makes an appearance on any journey beyond, say about twenty minutes. Perhaps you know it, or a similar version? It goes something like this: “It’s takin’ a lo-o-o-o-n-g time, tra-la-la Are we the-e-e-e-e-e-re yet? , tra-la-la I need the toilit! Right now, IT’S URGENT!” Then it’s my turn for the chorus: “Tra-la-Argh! We’ll never ever get there!” Now for some, the idea of spending hours and hours strapped into the same twenty five square feet as your nearest and dearest doesn’t bother them, in fact, a friend of mine relishes the chance to talk with her husband for four straight hours with rarely an interruption en route to Southern California, while the kids amuse themselves in the back of the van. You’re probably asking, what sedative does she use? But, no, her kids are alert but engaged. She simply has a cunning device. It comes in the shape of a 10 by 10 inch box that she has wired into the van. Otherwise called a mini TV/video. The kids are riveted to their favorite Disney characters as they wind their way down Highway 5 in the fast lane, leaving mom and dad free to catch up. This summer, I must admit to being tempted to splurge on a TV for the car, but something still holds me back. But it’s more than the money. Call me an eternal optimist, but I’m hoping this year, with some books on tape, and games galore, our journeys will be easier. I’m not ready to buy a TV. I’m simply not there yet. © Alison van Diggelen is the editor of www.siliconmom.com, an online forum and resource for mothers. She welcomes your comments

home